Summary of last night's insomnia
2004-01-31 | 4:48 p.m.

I'm feeling kinda restless. I think I'll get hammered.

Nah, I'm just kidding. I am restless though. I'ma have myself a rum and root beer, because I mistook the rootbeer for my beloved Vitamin DC (diet coke) and there's no sense letting perfectly good rum go to waste.

I think I'm just really tired. I keep trying to sleep but the phone keeps ringing and everyone has all these... demands on my time. Ya herd?

"Ya herd?" is the new "eh?".

Dooki, was it you that said that thing on that tagboard about the rats and the Guiness? I'm currently having my afternoon drunkening out of a Guiness glass. I adore guiness, it just brings back so many good memories from my childhood. Not like that, haha, I mean that my parents drank it when we were wild and we travelled all the time.

On the whole, I really did have an extrordinary childhood. Extrordinary looks strange, did I spell that wrong?

Oh yeah, for all you cute little assfaces that pull that whole "doesn't extra-ordinary just mean really plain that word is stupid am i rite gyus?!!1" might I just clear it up once and for all that it means OUTSIDE of the ordinary. Extra in the Latin-sense. Surpassing the ordinary. I didn't even have to look that up, I just knew it because I'm smrt.

And I like the Simpsons and I don't watch them enough anymore.

So, I completely got off topic there. What I MEANT to say was that I'm sleeping all fucked-up-like lately. Last night I tossed and turned until the wee hours of the morning, quite possibly 4 am, only to rise at 7 for work. I guess I feel "fine" now, as in I can't bring myself to sleep again even if the phone isn't ringing. But I know I should sleep.

Okay bring on the funny!

I could detect the restlessness last night around 11:30 so I popped two herbal "Relax and Sleep" pills. They normally knock my mom out Frat Party style, but then again my mom is a 49 year old fairy princess. Then I wash up, search for the THIRD TOOTHBRUSH I'VE LOST IN A WEEK, give up and chew half a pack of Trident, and pour over my Lonely Planet: New Zealand guide. It's the goods, by the way, read those books even if you're not going anywhere.

My cat's hoarding my toothbrushes, by the way, next to the vent on the main floor in the guest bathroom under some towels. Fucking jerk cat. I lub him.

Wow, that sentance makes my house sound really big!

SO YEAH, wow, I can't tell if I'm tired or caffineated but where was I going with this again? It's aboot 1 am and I'm singing some Macy Gray song I don't know the words to under my covers. I'm not even stoned or anything! Those pills didn't do anything but make my imagination go wild. I couldn't stop thinking about Krispy Kreme donuts, and how badly I wanted some but how the closest Krispy Kreme is an hour away in Windsor. How dumb is that? I'm supposed to be shedding my last few pounds here, people. Dancerbodydancerbodydancerbody! Ah well, they're just gonna have to deal with the fact that I have an ass. And that I am an ass. But hey, J Lo is the same way, and her ass is still two of my asses, so I'd say she's most definitely double the ass I am all around, and look at where she is today!

...

OKAY, I don't even know how I'm getting off on these tangents. My goal is to have another drink, enough to calm my mind and my nerves, sleep till 10, then mayhaps party my face off. I love you guys. Sorry I make no sense.

-S

P.S. How's the new layout? I like it, it makes me laugh when I see it and somehow it boosts my ego a little which is always nice. I miss Mario now though.

<<<<< | >>>>