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Why am I so wired
2004-01-28 | 8:43 p.m. Yesterday I got my hair cut. ALL OF THEM HAHAHA BEAT YOU TO IT Then I came home and cut the bangs again, because they were only about a 7 on the Rock-O-Meter and I had to have them at least 8.5, 9 even. It was really bizarre, because I sped to the hairdresser's from my dance lesson. A private ballet lesson, exactly, because we are now a week (and 4 pounds) away from my dream audition at my dream school. So there I am, all sweaty and rambling about wanting the usual rockstar bangs, and wearing grey tights and a black leotard and a ballet pink sweater that tied around my midsection. And huge black ass kicking boots because we're in the middle of nuclear fucking winter. Yanking out pins from my bun, slung just low enough to cover my neck tattoo. Yeah man, I'm QUITE the specimen. I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT TO GO TO AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND... geez, sorry, that sort of excitement comes to me in bursts. I won't even think about it for a little while then SLAMDANGO it hits me, in 3 weeks I'll be on a plane to the fuckin' outback. Well, Sydney. Well, first Honolulu. Then Sydney, then Taree, then Auckland, and we'll take it from there. If I wanted to get all Adam Sandler on you I'd cross my eyes and do the WOO I'M A CRAZY BACKPACKER thing! ... This kind of hyperness is really, really unattractive. You know what is attractive, though? The newest set of digital pictures I took at that party I mentioned. I really look stupid-fly. Too bad I'm special needs when it comes to HTML and whatnot, otherwise you guys could see them. Eh? Somebody teach me? Ehhhhh? Oh, yeah, I do have something that's getting me down. I don't really feel like writing it out again because it's so complicated so I'll just cut and paste it the way I explained it to somebody else. This is about my dance auditions for York and Ryerson, read it if you want, or don't. It's cool. I'll just NEVER talk to you again. Kidding, always kidding... "I should probably just explain this once so that you get where I'm coming from. The whole sordid technical university application procedure. Basically, I was promised by both York and Ryerson, the only two schools with dance programs in Ontario, that I could have early auditons to accomodate me leaving for exchange. Ryerson is letting me take a couple first year classes and they will evaluate me on that. York said they'd do the same. Today York calls and announces that they will NOT be doing the same. That I have to send in a video audition. A note about video auditions: they are a fucking joke. They NEVER showcase someone's talents to the fullest. You have to work incredibly hard to come up with something creative, and you have to pay all these fees to rent studios and get it filmed and take extra lessons and stuff... I just can't afford it Mentally and financially. It's unbelievably stressful. But I either send them a tape, or go to a group audition on February 16th.... and not get to go to Australia. Until way later. Which is a big deal because then I have to come home earlier before my leave of absense is up I feel like such a dickhead complaining this much, honestly, there's old people freezing in crappy apartments and people overseas in third world countries eating Nike apparel to stay alive. Fuck." Haha, talking to me online is so much like just talking to my fucking diary. Okay, I'ma go put on some pants and go read a book. But maybe not in that order if you get what I mean. *ribbing* Wow, I'm so glad I'm not... someone who has to spend time around me tonight. YEAH! -S
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