Nice wits, Jehovah ladies!
2003-08-11 | 11:42 a.m.

I JUST can NOT get RID of Jehovah's Witnesses.

They come to Lisa's when I'm working out of their home office at least once a week. "Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?"

NO, NOT SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU BANGED ON MY DOOR. Shove off, sister. Have you accepted my finger in your FACE?

...

I didn't say that to them though. I nodded and smiled and gasped in mock horror when they were explaining this new thing called "Pornography" that is an epidemic on the Internet these days, apparently! Who would have guessed!

So once again, I took their damn literature. I read it on my break, then I let Otis tear it up with his cute little puppy teeth. Then I spit my gum into it and stuck it under my car seat, because I wouldn't disrespect the people I work for by throwing it out in their garbage cans.

My personal favourite was the quieter of the two Witnesses (yeah, there's always that loudmouth robotic one, and then the quiet one there for support and facial expression). When the more talkative of the two ladies asked me if I had siblings at home that used the Internet, and I said yes, her lackey over there bulged her eyes out and did one of those obnoxious tsk tsk things.

Gasp! My parents are fucking awful! Who lets their children have all the information of the world at their fingertips like that! Certainly having low grades in school from lack of research material (and ending up a Jehovah's Witness in the end) is a better idea than being exposed to a few titties along the way to getting your PhD.

You fucking twits.

-S

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