I wanna smoke cigarettes and tear down the walls when it twists around this way
2003-09-18 | 12:31 a.m.

This isn't me backing out, this is me standing up for myself. I've got a mind and a plan and I'm sick of the games people play.

Don't toss your hair in my face. Don't buy me a drink. Don't tell me to cheer up. Don't silently suggest I should adopt your mood. Don't tell me when to sleep. Don't tell me how much it costs. Don't push me, because I'm running on more cylinders than you believed I had. Don't play sides. Don't sit on the fucking fence. Don't encourage me because I can and will do it all without you in a heartbeat.

It's unfair to throw out years of friendship by putting this ridiculous responsibility on me. What a slap in the face. You're setting yourself up for disappointment.

I've put up with so much shit from you and you and you. All I ask is for you to sit there and let me unload, and not tell me how it's going to get better. Shut up. I know it's going to get better, look at who you're talking to. I'm one happy motherfucker.

Tomorrow I will be okay. But tomorrow is not today, and as a friend you can't just wave me off until I feel better.

You have no idea I'm even talking about you.

I want out, but the party's just starting.

-S

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